THERE'S a little phrase we like to use here at NLP Towers: “only in Non-League”.
As soon as those words are uttered, I pretty much know we've got our page three in the can for another week!
It often feels like the good people that inhabit the grass-roots game like to make our story-finders' lives a lot easier by doing something barking mad.
So as a tribute to those helpful souls that help make our paper what it is, here's a selection of off-the-wall managerial funnies or unfortunates that have found their way on our pages over the last few years.
The one that wouldn't go away!
We've all known a manager who'll tell anyone that'll listen how angry he is to be dismissed. Meet the man that refused to accept his sacking!
Barry Town are a club in crisis. Boss Gavin Chesterfield was on a hiding to nothing but when he was told he had to leave last month by unpopular chairman Stuart Lovering, he simply said no – taking training as if nothing had happened, and telling the chairman he would be in the dug-out the following Saturday regardless of what he thought.
The pair sat down on the Friday night and he was, err, reinstated.
Now why didn't Di Matteo/AVB/Carlo Ancelotti/Avram Grant/The Special One think of that!
Sacked…… for being far too successful!
As Steve King and his Macclesfield side enjoy the limelight after beating Cardiff in the FA Cup, you wouldn't feel the need for any sympathy towards him.
But not so long ago he was out of work for doing too well. King had taken tiny Lewes from Ryman South into the Conference Premier in six glory-filled seasons.
Apparently they'd come too far too soon and the decision was made to cut right back – his contract was not renewed and all-but one of the club's title winning players were told to leave.
“I would still have a job if we hadn't gone up,” King said at the time. “I have essentially been sacked for being too successful.”
It's all getting bitter at Banbury!
This one takes some explaining. Banbury manager Ady Fuller, 41, reportedly resigned in September. He later retracted that, according to owner Jed McCoy – as he wanted a settlement.
The Southern League last week sided with the manager on appeal, forcing Banbury to honour his and his assistant Paul Lamb's £150-per week agreement. Only problem is that the pair, for some reason, signed players' contracts in the summer.
So Mr McCoy is treating them as such – with the unfit duo told to report for training and on matchdays. “I expect them to be fit for first team selection very soon,” he said.
I knew the game was up – at half-time!
Sometimes you just get the feeling your time at a club is coming to an end. But a text message from a friend at half-time of an important league match is perhaps not the best way to find out.
Jon Newby's Colwyn Bay weren't having the best of seasons in the Blue Square Bet North, but it all came to a head last week.
Newby said: “It was handled very poorly. I actually found out I was going to be sacked at half-time during the Vauxhall game after receiving a text from somebody who had heard about the new manager phoning around for players. There was somebody else doing my job while I was still in it! There's no excuse for that.”
But at least he wasn't officially given the bullet during a game!
Few stories will ever beat the tale of Mark Poulton – fired during a game his board of directors forgot was happening!
Sussex County League Chichester City were in action against Redhill in the Sussex Cup when manager Poulton heard his phoning ringing in his pocket.
When a director's name came up, he knew he had to take the call. It was one he wished he'd left to go to voicemail.
“It's the most unprofessional and shambolic organisation I've ever been involved with,” he fumed.
