EVERY time I turn on the radio or TV I'm confronted by the sound and sight of a lad I used to come up against in Ryman League action – the ever-chirpy Olly Murs!
The pop star played up front for Witham Town when I was at Ware between 2006 and ‘08, but is now seen more often sharing a stage with Robbie Williams after his successful career change after being on The X-Factor.
Before that, when I was at Hitchin, we'd had a couple of Southern League celebrities in rapper Junior ‘MC' Harvey and Jeff Brazier, the TV presenter, playing in the same Chesham United team against us.
In fact, one of the funniest things I've ever heard on a football pitch was when Harvey was shown a red card for pushing our winger Stuart Lochhead at The Meadow and quick-witted Lochie looked up from the ground and told the So Solid Crew star: ‘You've got 21 seconds before you got to go…'!
Inspired by my fellow NLP columnist Alan Alger playing doubles with tennis star Goran Ivanisevic the day before we met up with four top gaffers for a Non-League managers' Brains Trust, we asked Dale Belford, Steve Burr, Kevin Wilkin and Liam Watson if they'd played with or against anyone famous.
Legendary
When Tamworth boss Belford was asked to play in a tournament at Molineux for Aston Villa's former players' association, the Non-League journeyman goalkeeper thought he'd be inadequate in such esteemed company. It was only in the dressing room however, that proved the case!
“I wasn't good enough to get in the Villa side, so they put me in the celebrity team,” Belford recalled. “We played the tournament and finished bottom, but I've gone back in the dressing room and I'm changing next to this lad. He strips off and I'm like, ‘Wow!'
“It was Omar Williams, the British porn star! It was only when we went in the shower that I found out who the hell he was. Trust me, he is legendary!”
The others also came up with big, big stars – but these were football heroes, like when Nuneaton boss Wilkin was invited to play in a charity game at Milton Road towards the end of his time at Cambridge City.
The Boro boss said: “The local radio station organised it and we were amazed to find Bobby Moore, Alan Ball and George Best in the team.
“They all had an aura about them for different reasons. Bobby Moore was absolutely majestic the way that he carried himself, strolling around and strumming the ball about. Alan Ball was still raging around like he was playing in the World Cup, desperate to win, kicking and fighting people.
“And clearly George couldn't wait to get back in the bar with Mary Shatila – or whoever he was with at the time! To look back now it was fantastic to think you were on the same pitch as them.”
Kidderminster chief Burr, the former Macclesfield striker, had a similar experience.
“We played against Manchester United at Macc,” Burr said. “Bryan Robson had dislocated his shoulder and was coming back, so they organised a game against us so he could get 90 minutes.
Heroes
“Seeing him close up, it was amazing the difference in the level he was at. He was everywhere on the park. His fitness was unbelievable.
“I also remember walking in the dressing room at Macc one pre-season and Derek Parlane was there. Being an Aberdeen, Rangers and Scotland fan, I was thinking ‘What's Derek Parlane doing in the same dressing room as me?'
“He'd played in front of 130,000 at Hampden, Celtic v Rangers, but he'd just come back from Hong Kong and spent a season with us. I couldn't believe I was playing with one of my boyhood heroes.”
Watson recalls the time when, as a Witton Albion striker, one of Robson's former Old Trafford team-mates joined them.
“We beat Morecambe in the final qualifying round of the FA Cup,” says Watson. “We stood in the shower and said ‘What's the furthest you've got in the FA Cup?' A couple of the boys said they'd got to the second or third round, and you just heard this quiet voice go, ‘Won it – twice'. It was Arthur Albiston. He was the most easy going, mild-mannered man you've ever met.
“We also signed the striker Andy Kennedy – long dark hair, good looking fella – and he was knocking off the page three girl, Maria Whittaker, at the time. That was all he talked about.”
Err…and why wouldn't you?!
Let me know which celebrities you've seen playing Non-League football over the years on via email or twitter – stuarthammonds@gmail.com or @stuhammonds_NLP
