By Kevin Nicholson
Big derby matches will live with you forever – good and bad!
Only a few weeks ago I went in to Exeter City to see how Paul Tisdale operates. Another former opponent, Wayne Carlisle, works there too so we had some lunch.
I soon managed to find myself fighting them both off about the time Torquay and Exeter played against each other in the 2008 Conference play-off semi-finals.
Unfortunately Wayne got the better of me! He scored in the first leg and set one up in the second. Although I played pretty well, that's all anyone remembers.
Tis has got a fantastic football memory. He spoke about Wayne scoring a near-post header – something I'd conveniently forgotten.
He uses it as an example to this day to show his players how to get in the box. He pauses the video just before someone crosses the ball in and asks, ‘Who scores?' At that point Wayne wasn't even in the picture. So these moments stick with managers and players.
That was the lowest point I ever experienced in a derby game. We went to their ground in the first leg and won. But the writing was on the wall. We got battered for 90 minutes yet scored right at the start and at the end to win the game 2-1.
We then got the first back at Plainmoor to open a two-goal cushion. Exeter just didn't stop. They knew they were in the game and, in the last 20 minutes, scored four goals to beat us 5-3 on aggregate.
You could have heard a pin drop on the sides of the ground the Torquay fans filled. We were all stunned just how it had happened – we'd been outstanding that season. Exeter went on to get promoted.
Maybe I'm glossing over it in my mind, but other than that I've got a pretty good record overall. And they are great games to play in.
Bragging rights
We got promoted the season after we lost out to Exeter. Wayne was playing for us by then and he crossed the ball for Tim Sills' goal – one of the most famous strikes in Torquay history that got us promoted at Wembley.
The golden years followed as we played Exeter and Plymouth over Christmas in League Two.
We beat Plymouth on New Year's Day in front of a massive crowd – nearly 14,000. Billy Bodin and Lee Mansell scored. It was a great game, regardless, but we came out on top. Obviously they are huge occasions for the fans too. You bump into them around the club weeks before and they are frothing at the mouth already.
The local press get excited in the build-up and it's very difficult for players not to feel a little bit nervous.
You know it's going to be one of the biggest crowds of the season, you know it's for local bragging rights and you know how happy the fans are when you've turned over your local rivals.
Just the other day someone reminded me about playing for Scarborough and one of our famous victories.
On Boxing Day, 2004, we beat York 5-1 at home in front of just short of 5,000 people.
If I remember rightly we beat them at their place on New Year's Day as well. That was a massive buzz from what was quite a feisty derby.
Giddy
The trick for any manager is to have that passion and fight every fan wants to see, but keeping the reality that it is the three points you want. Don't go off script and start doing things you haven't been doing.
It's a constant balancing act. It's great if one of your team-mates smashes (fairly) into an opponent early on. It gets the crowd up, the team up, and everybody set on the right tone. But if someone gets giddy and does something stupid, you suddenly find yourself on the back-foot in what you have to treat as another game. Not that you tell the fans that!
I've seen players use up all their energy before the game has kicked off. They're so up for it, they hinder their own performance.
The players who are calm and collected will often go out and have top games in a pressure situation.
Damo delivers a dose of reality
Heartbreaking for Damon Lathrope who has had to quit football after suffering a broken leg.
It's scary it can happen and it sounds like the surgeons have done an amazing job. As he said in his own words, ‘I will be able to carry my daughters around'. That's something that is far more important than football.
He played for me at Torquay and I've been in touch with him – he's an upbeat person.
What he needs to take away is that he's achieved the dream most young boys have of being a footballer. He's been there, done it, played in big games, and been a professional for over ten years.
Now he gets to pick another dream and go for it. Often as footballers we are in a bubble. We've all got Peter Pan syndrome.
No one really grows up because it's all fun and games. It catches a few out and when it's over some aren't sure what to do next.
Damo is a bright lad, a good guy, and as sad as it is his playing career is over, he's got a great family behind him and I've no doubt he will be successful going forward.
I look at how Woking are treating him and the crowdfunding that has been set-up. People are pulling for him.
I've always said when I sign a player I make a commitment that goes on after the contract finishes. If I can ever help him out I will. It's great to see so many others are doing the same.
Prepped and all set for my next assault
The problem with being an unemployed manager is you always feel like you should be doing more.
But I know, when my next opportunity comes, I will be prepared.
It's been fascinating to go into Exeter to spend time with Paul Tisdale. He was very generous with his time and answering my questions about his mentality, philosophy and how he goes about things.
Derek Adams, at Plymouth, has done the same. I spent a few days with him, his staff and the squad. Two very different characters and styles but no surprise they are doing so well.
Derek was in my position not long ago. He did the same thing. Got out, watched a lot of football and spoke to as many people as he could to open his horizons. Now he's one of the hot young managers in the country.
I've reached out to Lee Johnson at Bristol City and a good friend of mine, Lee Mansell, who is at Bristol Rovers – so hopefully I can see what they do there too.
Once I get that next management chance I'm confident I'll be able to use all the experience I gained at Torquay, and now, to put it to good use.
*This article originally featured in The @NonLeaguePaper which is available every Sunday and Monday
